I’m pretty good at keeping up a crazy schedule. I have my to-do lists, goals, calendars, and all the other widgets/gadgets/apps to help keep me moving and getting things done. What I’m not good at – sitting still and doing nothing. Sit me down with a good book, an interesting movie – I’m a little squirmy but usually fine.
But tell me to be silent and be still and to calm my mind… it doesn’t happen. Even the yoga class I was taking was a “boot camp” mixing cardio with yoga. I’m a multi-tasker at every opportunity.
Still I occasionally dream of quiet time and a centered-mind. So when the email came through from Deepak Chopra and Oprah about a 21-day meditation challenge – I hit accept and signed up. One may ask how I got on the mailing list for said challenge – well, I signed up for a different 21 day challenge a while back. I did about 4 days of it (and that might have involved me doubling up to do two meditations a day).
So far, I’m only a day behind on Day 4 (instead of 5) and I’m amazed at how awful I am at meditation. Here’s what I’ve learned about myself in the last 4 days:
1) I cannot meditate on a work-day morning. I have too many alarms set on my phone to get me moving and they run at 9 minute intervals that interrupt the meditation. Lesson: I’m not a morning person.
2) I am overwhelmed in at least two areas of my life. Two of the three evening meditations were dominated by work related thoughts – and it was like the metro at rush hour with the blue orange rush plus as I tried to find my way back to the centering thought. Lesson: If I want to know what’s really bugging me, try to sit still and think about something else.
3) I can let my mind go blank – it’s called sleeping. Actually first I forgot the mantra I was supposed to be repeating and then I apparently dozed off. So on my fourth try – I fell asleep until the cute little chiming noise woke me up. Lesson: Bedtime meditation works better than morning meditation, sorta.
On day 3, I had gotten an email from Deeprak (because he’s thoughtful and checks in) titled “Angela, experiencing any distracting thoughts while meditating?” How did he know?!??!
Apparently according to his Meditation tips, all of what I’m doing is normal. And if I had read the tips first, well I’m not sure my meditations would be any better but at least I’d feel like part of the crowd.
But here’s the good news, I’m at least keeping up with trying this time. Hopefully I’ll actually see day 21 of the series this time. And I’m learning meditation isn’t boring – it’s a challenge and a learning experience. (and occasionally a good sleep aid)